Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
