i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
