I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
