He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
