She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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