Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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