Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
