the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
