hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
