everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
