She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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