dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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