he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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