A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
