Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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