he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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