whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
