i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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