How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My bed smells like the plague
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize