That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
