I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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