i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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