is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You were trust falling into bushes
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize