I think im going to throw up on grandma
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
