Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
