Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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