I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My penis needs a shock collar
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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