well most of my day revolves around power hour
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
