So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
