Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
