I accidentally had phone sex last night
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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