I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
