You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she told me i tasted like america
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
