I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
