i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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