im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize