I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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