Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize