I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
