College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
