She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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