i permit you to call me
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize