Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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