i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
is wine microwaveable?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
