p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
