put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
