Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
