Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
