I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I currently don't understand fingers.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
