I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Do vagina's smell?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
