So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
