I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
