Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
