I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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