While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Randomize
