After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
