I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
