I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
