Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
