even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
do herpes really smell.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
