My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
