Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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