Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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