Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
