I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
