did you get engaged???
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
