Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
