I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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