at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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