...so i touched it.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
