i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
